Just because she’s one of the best parts of this show.
but gahdamn, by the sounds of it, they REALLY done fucked up with Into Darkness
like, even worse than predicted, if that was even possible
hopefully the shittacular box office showing torpedoes any hope of sequels and gets JJA off of Star Wars, bc yeah, we don’t need some more Michael Bay-style sci-fi
tell ‘em, Yoda.
After making a mere $84 million at the U.S. box office, Star Trek Into Darkness is considered by some to be a disappointment. Perhaps the problem is that it was a touch confusing. To help our readers better understand it, we’ve complied and answered these Frequently Asked Questions about the movie.
Maximum spoilers ahead…
How does the movie start?
Well, with Kirk and Bones fucking with a planet of primitive aliens. They steal some kind of holy scroll, and then get chased through a red jungle.
Seems like kind of a dick move.
Well, it’s not very clear, but ostensibly they’ve stolen the scroll to get chased, in order to draw the aliens away from a volcano that’s about to explode.
Okay, that seems reasonable.
Except that 1) when the volcano erupts, it’s going to kill everybody on the planet, so it hardly matters where they are, and 2) Spock is getting dropped down into the volcano to set off a cold fusion bomb.
Yeah, he sets off the cold fusion bomb and all the lava freezes.
You know cold fusion isn’t actually cold, right? It’s only “cold” in the sense that opposed to regular fusion it’s not a bazillion degrees hot.
And did you say Spock was in the volcano? Why the hell didn’t they just beam the bomb in there?
Um, something about the planet’s magnetic field. Although they do beam Spock out of the volcano just a few minutes later, so…
And why did Spock have to go with the bomb to set it off? Are you telling me in the 23rd century that people don’t have a way to detonate bombs remotely? That’s stupid.
And why the fuck is the Enterprise just carrying around a cold fusion suitcase bomb anyways?
Look, you’re getting very upset, and this is just the first scene of the movie.
(I was going to make a post about how mad Star Trek made me, but this does it better, with bonus tears of laughter. )
This just in: I have gone from “fairly indifferent from watching the movie because despite JJ and whitewashing of Khan, its still StarTrek and I had hope…..to fuck no, i do not wish to view this picture even for free
Hm, how to put this eloquently…
Eh, screw it. Fuck you, Abrams, and your need for shitty and dumbed down action flicks. That’s not what Trek is about, and you absolutely killed everything that made the universe amazing. Just, seriously, go retire on some deserted island. The entire film world would be better without you around.
Is there a way to set Tumblr posts so only certain people see them?
Everyone deserves to find a Chanandler Bong to settle down with
I was testing out my pistol’s LAM earlier, and I pointed it at my monitor where it reflected back into my eye.
I am not a smart person.
Calling it now Chef Ramsey is going to be the 12th Doctor
“get in the fucking tardis GOD”
“this planet is disgusting; bland, wet. it’s embarrassing”
doctor, where are we?
“in the shit.”
(Source: threelivestoiled, via captain-kate)
I can’t believe Geordi La Forge had trouble getting it
what does the future hold for us
This is one of my major gripes (and one of LeVar’s major gripes, apparently) with the series. In a future, where the world is all about its science and tech, how is the CHIEF ENGINEER of the Federation’s FLAGSHIP not, just, constantly getting laid?!?!
I thought about it too, and I realized that between the time commitment of his job and having to take care of the kid, he simply has no time left for dating.
Now before you tell me La Forge didn’t have kids, hear me out: Data is an android, yes. However, Geordi is often the one Data turns to when he has questions of emotions/humanity/social etiquette/social norms. Additionally, Geordi also has “play time” with Data via Sherlock simulations in the holodeck.
So for all intents and purposes, Geordi is the Chief Engineer of the flagship of Starfleet, but he’s also a single father who is married to his job. Oh, and he can see through clothes.
One Ruger MkIII + One Sig Sauer SP2022 + two earmuffs + one pair safety glasses + 1000rds .22LR + 400rds 9mm in one range bag = poor man’s dumbbells.
Cheap way to do some curls while watching Friends. Exercise would be so much better if gyms could accommodate laziness like this. It’s not the exercise I hate but the boredom.